Below and within.

I like activities. Who doesn't? I enjoy clubs, outings, groups... Basically getting out of my house with others is something I rarely turn down. However, I am never the person to plan such activities. I like pre-existing engagements that I can RSVP to. I don't call people to see if they want to go, I certainly don't plan months ahead of time to reserve space, or organize a team, or hire a DJ. I attend and if necessary, I pay. That's it, that's my effort. Usually -that is all the effort that is needed. "We'd love it if you showed up!" Consider it done. My job is being an assistant. In my free time, if anything - I want people to assist me.

Now - the trouble comes with my friends. I'm friends with the go-getters, the planners, the above-and-beyonders. From the outside this seems good. One would think that I could just be lead blindly to social gatherings by those in charge and do what I do best: participate. Nope. When you are friends with the organizer you are inevitably given a job - some sort of menial task that your "friend" doesn't feel comfortable asking anyone else to do. Usually the request is given under some sort of false pretence that you are "the only one I can trust with this" or "I've seen what you can do, you'll be great!" (The go-getters are always sickeningly encouraging.) This translates to, "I'm really trying to make some new friends here, and if I ask them to write down their own names and addresses, they'll obviously hate me forever. Here's a pen."

Aside from the additional work that has now tainted this purely social, formerly fun activity, the Friend of the Organizer also has more responsibility than any other attendee. By signing up for softball I committed to the same amount of games that everyone else did, under the assumption that if I were hypothetically extremely hungover and unable to walk, stuck in traffic, or plain old not in the mood to show up that it would be ok to not show up. Wrong! Other people can do that. The average attendee of a weekly outing to a local watering hole can just not show up unannounced and be welcomed back the next week without 35 "Why aren't you here? Who can I ask to watch the table when we all go out for a cigarette?" phone calls. The Friend of the Organizer must be present at all instances of said organized event regardless of other - even pre-established - commitments.

Well I quit. I'm done being a founding member, a team manager, or any other pretend title giving the illusion of power. I'm going to stick with activities that I enjoy without any strings attached. The people at the gym never ask me to help pick up towels with them. The bartender never has me get my own ice. People are dependent on me all day at work, so from now on after 5 and on weekends, I am going to be completely dependent on others, or independent with no responsibilities but my own. If that bothers you, you should probably find some more responsible friends, and actually - I wish you would so that I'm not the only one.