Don't fear the reaper...

Bring on some more cowbell! I know of 3 people who died within the past week, so I'm pretty sure that I'm in the clear. And so are you!

All of them were equally as distant to me, and barely acquaintances which is why I'm not so much distraught as relieved. Why 3 is the magic number, I don't know - but I'll take it. Mostly because it makes me feel better.

In celebration of my life and those of my dear friends, I will be at O'Porto's in Hartford for happy hour and then probably a mandatory irresponsible Thursday trip to Margaritas.

Plagiarism

Honestly - I usually prefer others' ideas over my own:

Public Service Announcement - seriously.

This is why you don't scream while playing in a pool. It's like crying "wolf." This poor kid yelled for help while DROWNING in a park pool because the neighbors who heard his cries decided that loud yelling from the pool area was , "such a common occurrence during the summer, they say, that they don't bother calling the police." His body was found at 4pm the next day in the pool.

The kids who live across the street from me scream and screech so much from their pool. It's absolutely terrible. How do I know when they're unattended? How can I tell the difference between a crazy game of Marco Polo and holy crap, bobby just hit his head on the diving board? When I was little, Dad you can probably attest to this, I was a pretty quiet one. And I remember that both of the pools I swam in (the Rossettos and the Holtes for those of you keeping track) definitely had 'no yelling' rules.

Ah - I don't know why this bothers me so much... But he was 12!

W.I.I.F.T.B.

I love team.

Summer

This World Cup business has got me thinking.

I need goals.

It being Hangover Wednesday and all, I think I will start with one about Haahhhbah Pahhk (which I apparently wish was located in Southie somewhere...)

I will have a shot of Jager with Boomer and/or Gay Raul by the end of the summer.

Mark my words.

Next week is the 4th of July, I'll be out of town and the Pahhk will be crazy anyways, but I'll start working on it in 2 weeks. It will give me time to plot.

Perhaps a DBP will be convincing. They usually are.

I would also like to swing dance with that old guy - but I think his aged (although incredibly cute - both of them!) wife could take me, easily. She has a cane.

I've invented something awesome

...at least I think I made it up. The name is original at least:

The Double-Butt Punch

It involves me punching everyone on my softball team in the butt, one cheek at a time - alternating cheeks (a left, right, left, right if you will... and I know you will)

They love it! Julie is the only other person who doles out the DBP, but everyone's gotten at least one. Some people prefer the open palmed ass-slap. To each his own.

The best Double But Punches, to date, took place at the Pig's Eye Pub on Friday night, when people were playing pool. I did it to everyone, and one of the Matts on our team brought his lame-ass girlfriend. She was the only one who didn't appreciate the punches. She was standing in a circle of people I knew... therefor either a. asking for it, or b. I was sure that she would have felt left out had I not attempted. She turned around instantly and said (quite seriously and a little scarily) I don't even KNOW you. Which is barely true, because I met her before at that very same bar a week before. I won't ever touch her again - and she will be sorry.

Stick-to-it-iveness

Connecticut is full of so much awesome.

Walter Perlotto, age 26:

Did he go to medical school? I doubt it.

Does he have a valid driver's licence? Maybe.

Is he a creepy guy who listens intently to police scanners all day? Yessir.

Does he want to save lives? Hell yes.

"A police representative said that Perlotto pretended to be an EMT and actually treated at least one patient."-NBC30

The scariest part of the story is that Wally apparently got to the scene of the 911 calls before the actual ambulances arrived.

Ah... a modern day superhero, charged with criminal impersonation and reckless endangerment.

Quite satisfactory.

My most recent favorite thing:

Waking up in the middle of the night to a tugging of covers and realizing that the tugger is a kitty who has decided to snuggle up for the evening.

this is Sam:

My other cat's name is Blackie (she is black....). She comes from a long line of Blackies, meaning that my grandmother got a lot of black cats in succession and gave them all the same name. She also had 3 or 4 dogs named Duke.

Mom always said...

Well - if you can't say something that's not bitter, then don't say anything at all. That's where I've been, East Bitterton. But now I'm back - and hopefully not too sarcasticly. Sandy, who I work with, has started a rather impressive powerpoint presentation about our office which has renewed my interest in Adventures With Abe, also - I'm on a softball team... so there' s shit to write about right there.

Maybe a list of injuries: one badly bruised (and no longer bleeding, thank heavens) finger.

Creativity is back, but there are no guarantees that it will stick around (also, if it rains for 2 weeks straight again, I may slip into a gloom-induced coma.)

I heart The Office

these are AWESOME

Whats worse than a liquorice cookie?

A ginger cookie?

maybe...

how about these?

The last line is the kicker.

Truth Tuesday*

Public Service Announcement:

... and now I'm done being bitter.

* All I stole from dicta was alliteration.

You had a bad day - The camera don't lie

stacheTASTIC!: "maybe this kid would be less annoying if he had a mustache "

oh I wish...

I can't wait for "Where Are they Now: Misguided Fools on American Idol"

Best blog ever

A quote from Grey's Anatomy writer, Krista Vernoff on the show's blog:

"WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT KEVIN COVAIS’ SPEECH IMPEDIMENT?
Seriously, how are you supposed to have a professional singing career when you
sound like this: “You should have told me yourthelf, that you loved thomeone
elth, insthead I heard it through the grapevine…”??? He is sweet kid –
even a talented singer, but seriously! Maybe I’ll write to Simon
Cowell and call him some names…"

It had to be said. Although, I've never heard of you before today, Krista, you're my newest best friend. (Which is good because I've been looking to replace this girl for a while now.) Most of the comments to that post (which included many more items that just Kev, mostly GA related...) agreed with her observation, unlike this one:

"Isn't it amazing that Kevin is trying to go BEYOND his speech impediment, and not let it keep him from singing? Let's try to give a 16-year old kid a bit of a pat on the back, shall we?
Posted by: Hazel March 03, 2006 at 07:56 AM "

No, Hazel, let's not. Maybe he could also go BEYOND his weird facial features and become a model. I'm not going to be the next American Idol because I'm not a good singer, this I know - I think all of this "follow your dreams" crap in America is ruining us. I'm going to start a "Realize Your Shortcomings" Public Service Announcement Campaign, who's with me?

ps. sorry for the blog within a blog within a blog...

pps. I've never seen Grey's Anatomy, I found this on the Best Week Ever Blog, entitled "Kevin Covais: Me Talk Pretty One Day."

And the award goes to...

The award for worst attempt at a pick up line in Hartford Connecticut goes to David at the Half Door last night, for saying this all in one breath:

"Hi, are you drinking water? My name is David."

And he gets an honorable mention for creepiness by offering up (in response to "Hi, um yes? I'm Laura.") again with one breath:

"Oh and I'm definitely too old for you. How old are you, how old do you think I am?"
"umm... 31?"
"Wow. Wow." as he walked away.

Lock up your daughters - David's on the loose!

Remember the Hunting Scene in The Wedding Crashers?

Cheney Accidentally Shoots Fellow Hunter Dick Cheney : People.com

Put on your cut offs!!

Arrested Development:

4 back to back episodes, including the (series?) finale will air this friday
at 8 on FOX. The title of the finale episode is "Development Arrested."

... as told to me by Sean as told to him by Tom.

Frey admits fictions, Oprah apologizes - Yahoo! News

Frey admits fictions, Oprah apologizes - Yahoo! News:

"'All the way through the book I altered details about every one of the
characters,' Frey said, to disguise true identities."

Wow.

I'd been following this story fairly closely. Granted I didn't go to the Smoking Gun website, but I had faith in Frey. Why? Because I believe in Oprah. Why? Oh my God... I don't know!! What is it about that woman that absorbs my trust like a sponge?

Here's what made me chuckle aloud while reading this article (aka a list of the funny parts so you don't have to read it):

Frey: "This hasn't been a great day for me..."
Ha! Ya think?

Frey: "I feel like I came here and I have been honest with you. I have, you know, essentially admitted to ..."
"Lying," Winfrey interrupted.
OH SNAP!

He spent two hours in jail, not 87 days, and the account of his breaking up with a woman who later committed suicide happened in a much shorter period of time, with their separation occurring while he was taking care of personal business in North Carolina, not while he was in jail, he said.
2 ≠ 87, however depending on which parts of North Carolina you're in...

Asked if The Smoking Gun Web site, which first questioned the book, had accurately characterized the discrepancies, Frey said "I think most of what they wrote was pretty accurate," adding they did "a good job."
One must give credit when credit is due.

Winfrey asked if that was to make a better book or to make him a better person.
"Probably both," he answered.
At this point, honesty is probably the best policy.

Withdrawl

I've decided to stop drinking soda from Monday - Friday. I thnk it's a good habit to get into. I drink the most soda at work, either a 20oz. bottle or a can (or two...) My parents don't drink it (and I'm super awesome and live with them) so we don't usually have any in the house.

I figure it's just empty calories, FAR too much sugar, and not really great for my teeth or skin.

But honestly, it's KILLING me. I'm tired, hungry (just for a sweet snack) and plain old cranky. It's been 2.5 days. Thank goodness I refuse to give up the crack, that might turn me into a real mess.

That's how easy love can be!

Today's date is one - two three!

... so OBVIOUSLY I've been humming Jackson5 all day.

Is it the best day of the year or the worst? I'll know in a few hours. At least I have a radio in my car now - to drown out the Tito in my head.